Some Guatemalan Observations

With a little over a month left in my stay here in Xela, I think it is time to do some reflecting on some of the things that make Guatemala, well, Guatemala. Here is what I've come up with:

• Guatemalans have tiny feet: Or, I have gigantic feet. Yesterday, I spent three hours looking for new shoes. I kept finding the style I wanted... only to be told the biggest size they have are 8's. I wear 11's. Not going to happen. This even happened in shoestores in the mall. Because of this, I gave up and bought them online instead.


• There is no time that isn't appropriate for dance music: Typically, loud dance music should be played afternoon. Or at least close to noon. Not 7am. Waking up to the Black Eyed Peas at 7am is not ok.


• Pink - not worn by straight men: I am very secure in my masculinity and wear pink sometimes. It happens. Or at least it happens in the States. Here, pink is only girls and gay men. So much for my favorite pink and grey sweater.


• Roosters are unable to tell time: The rooster that lives outside my apartment thinks that 2am is really 7am and time to crow. I have almost gotten up a few times in the middle of the night to climb to the roof and throw rocks at the thing. I'm sure it will make a delicious dinner one day. Soon hopefully.


• Bars don't exist: Everyone knows my beer sadness and lack of choices. But what also is lame in Guatemala is the fact that bars are different too. The typical bar that I like in Seattle or Portland, one that you go in, sit, have a good pint, watch some baseball, and chill and talk about life - not happening here. Here, you can go to a club. Dance. Which can be fun once and a while. Or, you can sit in a restuarant and have a beer. But its different. I miss Teddy's off Roosevelt in Seattle. And the EndZone in Port Orchard.


• GRINGO!!!: Pointing and yelling 'Gringo!' is completely acceptable. In Xela, its rare. But on the coast, very common. Just so you know, gringo is slang for a foreigner, usually white foreigners.


• Rainy Season: People at home in the Northwest always complain that rain in Seattle never stops. It does stop. In Guatemala, rainy season means rainy season. Like, rain every day. To be fair, at least it is on a schedule. The rain holds off until at the earliest 1pm, allowing for erronds and walking to be done in the morning. So that's nice of the rain gods.


• Guns: I don't even flinch anymore when I see men standing outside of stores holding shotguns. It seems like every store that sells anything has a shotgun toting security guard. The stat I heard was that there are 3 armed private security guards for every police officer in this country. I'd believe it.


• Guatemalans are terrible baseball players: A two examples to back this up. One, when I go to the coast for work and I attempt to toss something, be it fruit or a ball, to the children, they can't catch it. They mostly look like they've never even had to use their hands to catch anything. Ever. It's painfully awkward. The second example - I went to an athletic complex to work out a few weeks ago and stopped by the baseball field to check out the adult league that was playing. The teams, made up of mostly mid 20-somethings, were aweful. After about 10 minutes of watching, I concluded that one guy might have made my high school's Jr. Varsity team. Maybe. There is a reason there are no Guatemalans on MLB rosters right now and only 3 have ever played professional baseball.


• Guatemalan men don't clean themselves: OK, this is not true and a hugely incorrect statement. But what I'm trying to say is that there is no such thing as men's body wash here. Not even at Walmart. Only bar soap. Gross.

For now, that's all I got. I'm off to go work out, before it starts raining. Only 40 days, 13 hours, and 10 minutes until I land in SeaTac. Not that I'm counting.